What now?!

Cool picture huh!  That is really my brain after my MRI on April 5th.  About a week before that, I started to feel numbness in my left arm and leg.  In the past that had been a symptom of my thyroid being out of whack or my B12 being low.  So I went to my doctor thinking it was my B12 because maybe my shots at home weren't quite as effective as the shots by the nurse?  He did a complete blood screen and everything looked normal.  So why was I numb?  He said it could be a symptom of multiple sclerosis(!) but he would rule that out and just call it carpal tunnel on my arm but he wasn't sure how the leg numbness fit in.  Gee thanks!  Not only did you give me a ridiculous diagnosis, you also scared the heck out of me by mentioning MS.  I have a wonderful, spirited, hilarious first cousin once removed who has been battling the disease for years and is now confined to a wheel chair.  To see that in your future is hard to take.  He said the next step would be an MRI if I started feeling worse.  Well, a few days later I felt a lot worse.  Both of my arms were now numb and felt pretty much dead.  It was a conscious act of will to lift them off my lap.  My left leg was numb except for the foot which tingled day and night.  Something was wrong.  Saturday evening Paul took me to the hospital because I figured I needed an MRI and I couldn't wait days to have one scheduled.  I knew the ER would do one right then so off we went, after a most wonderful family (the Edwards) ALL came over to watch the kids.  They had quite the time I heard later, and didn't mind so much mom and dad were gone.  Thanks Edwards!  Anyway, they got me into a room at the ER and the doctor there said it was rare but I had the symptoms of MS.  So of course I had decided I had MS and I was trying to figure out how to live the rest of my life with this new reality.  They stuck me in the MRI tube, which really is an awful experience.  If you aren't claustrophobic before hand, I guarantee you will be once you are in there.  I had to keep my eyes closed and spend 5 million dollars to keep myself sane.  Ugh.  Then the MRI guy wanted to shoot me with some stuff to make my brain appear colored or something so it showed things better but they never put an IV line in back in the ER.  So he whips out the equipment and proceeds to poke me in each of my inner arms but he can't get the darn thing in.  Then he calls a nurse who takes her own sweet time to get there and she proceeds to poke me on the top of my right forearm(!) and can't get the thing in either.  Good thing the guy pulled me out of the MRI at this point and I was still laying down or they would have had a problem on their hands.  Finally my ER nurse shows up about the same time as the head nurse who can stick anyone successfully I heard, and they are both pushing around on my arms looking for veins.  At that point I was laughing at just how absurd it all was.  I was also extremely relieved because the MRI guy asked why I was there and I told him I thought it was to rule out MS or a tumor and he said even though he wasn't fully trained to read them he didn't see any signs of anything being wrong at that point.  The relief was amazing.  I guess I didn't realize just how much the possibility of a debilitating life-long disease was weighing me down.  They finally got the IV line in between my fingers on my left hand!  OWWWWW!  I will never allow that again I tell you.  Freaks me out to think about it still.  So back in the MRI I went and spent another 5 million in my dreams and finally was able to head back to the ER where the doc said she didn't see anything wrong, I was really very healthy, and to follow up with a neurologist.  OK.  On Monday I was able to see a neurologist who did all kinds of little nerve and sensation tests and he proclaimed me really quite healthy.  Seriously people?  In truth, I have two conditions that left untreated are life threatening.  I don't really call that quite healthy.   So in the end I was never given a diagnosis from a high paid medical doctor.  What I am self-diagnosing is that this was a flare-up from all my autoimmune diseases.  Kind of like how I get hives every once in a while, this is probably just my body's way of reminding me that I really am not quite healthy and I'm getting old and should expect a recurrence whenever my body decides to go wacky again. Thankfully at this point the numbness has pretty much gone, but for a week my forearms and hands had horrible pain.  I couldn't use my hands to grip things or I would have shooting pain that felt like what I imagined getting struck by lightning would feel like.  Today I am feeling pretty good but even typing this is making my forearms and wrists annoyed.  Hopefully in a few more days all symptoms will be gone and I will once again be "quite healthy."  I have to say though, I am so thankful that I live when my problems can be treated and managed.  How many people in the past died from "natural causes" that could have been what I have?  Now there is a name for every illness, people rarely die of "natural causes".  All our suffering is defined.  Does it make it any better with a name?  I don't know.  But I do know that before modern medicine came around people used to suffer.  I wouldn't want to deal with the symptoms of my conditions every day of what would have been a much shortened life.  For bodies to be such a miraculous working machine, they sure break down an awful lot.  There are few I know that don't have some sort of chronic condition.  Such is life I guess.

New Normal

I just shot myself.  In the stomach.  Twice, on purpose.  With syringes full of B12.  Welcome to getting older and breaking down a bit I guess.  This will be my new normal.  Once a month for the rest of my life I get to shoot myself full of vitamin B12 because my stomach decided to quit absorbing it from the foods I eat.  Just another autoimmune disease to add to my list of hypothyroidism and hives. Thanks a lot.  Last year at this time I was feeling numbness on my left side so I thought it was my thyroid acting up.  Nope, B12 deficiency.  I was low but not in the danger zone yet so my endocrinologist told me to see my regular doctor about it.  With all the trip planning going on I totally forgot about it and didn't remember again till September when I was going through paperwork to find my lab request for my thyroid test I have every six months.  Oops.  So this time the test came back with numbers far below the danger zone for B12.  If I didn't get help I would start having nerve damage, plus other stuff, plus death.  Blah, blah, blah.  So I started getting monthly injections at the clinic here in town but the annoyance factor of scheduling it every month and taking Bree in with me and the inconvenience on my time was enough for me to request being taught how to do it at home.  I REALLY hate needles so this was a huge step for me.  For some reason (Oregon law) you can't give yourself a shot intramuscularly but you can do subcutaneous shots on yourself.   Now for some other reason you have to split the B12 into two shots if its done subcutaneously.  Lucky me!  I practiced at the doctor's last month and the first shot was perfect.  The second I didn't poke fast enough so I kind of ended up pushing it in and the whole thought process and  pain behind it made me almost pass out!  I'm such a wuss.  I figured I would give it a try and if I couldn't do it on my own I could always head back to the doctor every month.  But this morning I was able to give myself the shots just fine!  I'm so proud of myself!  Walmart hooked me up with some needles that were tiny so I didn't feel a thing.  I kind of have to disassociate myself with what I am really doing to myself and then I'm fine!  I'm also glad I can do it this way since we have a mail order pharmacy that sends 90 day supplies so I actually have a couple vials in case of an emergency and I can't get to a doctor on time.  Its great for my thyroid meds too.  I am able to keep extra in our 72 hour kit.  I always worry about those who need regular doses of meds who might not be able to get to them in an emergency.  Not me!  I can shoot myself no problem!  I know there are many others out there who have it much rougher than I do, my sister for example with rheumatoid arthritis who shoots herself in the stomach once a week, but I am pretty proud of myself for being able to overcome my deathly fear of needles to take care of this minor inconvenience.  And, I have a great excuse now to keep a permanent roll of fat on my tummy so I have an injection site.

Curling 101

I've been bitten by the curling bug!  Every time the Olympics come around I always get into the curling.  I even snuck into a curling country club in Canada when we were on vacation a few years ago just to see it in person.  This Olympics (Sochi, Russia) everyday for 15 days at 2pm I would watch the curling, no matter who was competing.  I loved it and Drew and Mason got into it too.  I have been thinking about trying it for years but never actually made any effort to do so.  One evening I was watching the Olympics and they were doing a human interest story on a female snowboarder.  She was pretty eccentric but one thing she said really stuck with me.  She said she wasn't content to just let life happen to her.  I thought that was great.  How many of us are walking around this world just letting life happen to us?  Uh, me?  So for the next few days I was trying to figure out how to start a curling club in Portland.  Then I got the bright idea to Google it and see if there was any place near us to curl.  VIOLA!  There is a curling club in Beaverton!  I was soooo excited.  And since interest is high during the Olympics, they had learning to curl classes and open houses set up all through February for all the armchair curlers out there ready to give it a try.  So I contacted my friend Ericka, whom I had seen posting things on Facebook about curling, and we decided to attend an open house.  Drew begged to go so she came along with us.  Mason tried his hardest to beg also but I tried to explain to him that this wasn't a mom activity, but a Tiffiny activity.  I was actually doing something for me and if I let my young kids come it would turn into me helping them try to learn instead of me learning.  Selfish?  Eh, it is what it is.  So Drew got to come but Mason didn't.  Sorry buddy.  It was actually a good decision though because I don't think he would have been able to curl.  It is deceptively difficult.  The balance is the hardest part.  You have to stay upright while sliding on one leg on the ice, all the while concentrating on throwing a 42 lb "rock" way down a sheet of ice.  It took quite a few tries but towards the end we got it.  Drew was able to throw a nice guard and I actually had the winning rock in the pick up game at the end of our lesson!  It was so much fun!  It was a workout too.  You walk in there and its freezing and you leave sweating.  Sweeping is no joke.  It takes some upper body strength and you are moving pretty fast to stay ahead of the rock sliding down the ice.  We had an awesome time and I would LOVE to keep at it.  Unfortunately it is quite the spendy sport, but then so is basketball and baseball right?  There is a novice league that runs through April that I am interested in but with the kids signed up for baseball we will have to see how schedules match up.  I guess I signed up to be bottom on the list when I had 4 kids!

 Here Drew is learning to throw the rock.  She was really good at the balance part, she just didn't quite have the strength to get it all the way down the ice.  She did great though and of course would love to keep it up.  Maybe its time to move to Beaverton so she can practice and get good enough for the Olympics in 12 years!

 This is me trying my darndest to stay up!  It was kind of like learning to ride a bike.  Once your body gets the feel of the correct balance you are good to go.

 Drew and Ericka waiting to sweep!

 Drew and I getting ready to sweep for this great guy who was there on his own, learning to curl.  Way to not just let life happen to you!

Here we are in action!  Sweeping is tough and my triceps were sore the next day!

Basketball 2013-14

 Basketball season started in November and my intent was to coach only Drew's 3/4 grade girls team.  Well, Mason's coach for his 1/2 grade boys team didn't have an assistant and since I knew I would be at every one of his practices and games, I volunteered to be the assistant coach for his team.  I had fun working with the younger boys.  They are full of energy but really willing to listen to what we had to teach them.  Well, all but my own son that is.  He would listen fine to Coach Crystal but when it came to Coach Mom he pretty much closed his ears.  I guess he has enough of me trying to correct his actions at home, he wasn't about to take it on the basketball court too.  That's OK though, at least now I know I can never volunteer to be his head coach.  Duly noted.  Mason improved immensely from last season.  He is a darn good defender anyway but his dribbling and shooting skills really improved.  He actually got the team award for most improved shooting.  He played hard and I'm always proud of the effort he puts out.  I think the funnest part of the game for him is just getting to hang out and play with other boys, something he never gets to do at home, poor guy.  I'm hoping as he gets older and has more sporting options available to him he will stick with basketball.  Not only for his sake but for mine.  I enjoy sitting in a nice, dry, climate controlled gym as opposed to outside in the northwest weather for the spring and fall sports :)

 I was prepared to coach Drew's team since I had coached the same age level last year.  I love the girls at this age and development.  They pretty much know how to play basketball, its just refining their skills.  We saw so much progress in our team over the season.  I had a really great group of girls and enjoyed them all.  They were all very willing to listen to my directions and they will probably have dreams of "USE THE BACKBOARD!" for the rest of their lives.  They were also a bit squirrely at times but that's what makes it fun?  Drew's goal entering the season was to make 20 baskets, which was huge since she only made maybe 5 last year.  She ended up making 17 and was the highest scorer for our team.  Drew is awesome to have on a team.  She is so eager to soak up information and achieve things to the utmost of her ability that she had no problem listening to instructions, even if they were coming from mom.  I have a great time coaching her and I hope she feels the same.  Next year she will be in the 5/6 grade girls level and I'm not sure how I feel about coaching that age group.  I will have to think about that.  Also, Darcy will be able to play and I think it might be best if I sign up to coach her team.  We'll see though.  For the foreseeable future I believe Drew is sticking with basketball and that makes me a very happy mom, if it makes for a very happy Drew!  Now we are waiting to hear from Darcy's t-ball coach and Mason's baseball coach so we can get the spring sports started.  Darcy is a little wary of playing but I know once she gets into the "swing" of things she will be fine!

Snowmageddon 2014!

 It was dubbed Snowmageddon 2014.  Thursday morning I was exercising with Jillian Michaels and I looked out the window at 9am and flakes started to fall.  8 hours later after non-stop snow we had 10 inches!  It was fine, dry powder because the temps were in the low 20's so it wasn't good for building.  The kids came home from school early Thursday and school was cancelled until a late start on Tuesday.  By then, we had received probably 6 more inches of heavier, wet snow but the tape measure was stuck at 10 inches.  It must have compacted the lighter stuff as it fell.  Towards the end the snow was better for building snowmen and tunnels.  The kids had a great time in it but I appreciate the snow storms that last 1 day and are gone the next.  When all of a sudden my kids are stuck home from school it throws me off my schedule and makes me irritable.  I'm OK with summer break because they are supposed to be home and I am prepared.  Church was cancelled on Sunday so by Monday as snow was turning into mush we braved the roads and went to McDonalds for a much needed break from the house.  We survived and hope to not see any more snow this winter!

Drew and Darcy made an attempt at Olaf from "Frozen."

Drew and Mason made a tunnel out of the huge bluff we made shoveling out the driveway.  They weren't allowed to go in it unless I was out there with them and no cars were on the road.  I caught quite a few curious neighborhood kids crawling through the tunnel when they thought no one was looking.  I didn't mind, I just wanted them all to be safe.

Bree is 4!

Bree is 4!  All of a sudden she is a grown up kid, no longer a toddler but a preschooler!  Wow, time really did fly.  I miss my babies but I sure do enjoy having big kids that can take care of themselves now.  No more diaper bags, no more snacks at church, she dresses herself in fits of independence, potties alone, and I don't have to worry about her getting into things she shouldn't anymore.  Its so freeing!  I love having big kids!  At times Bree still likes to act like a baby and says she doesn't want to be a big girl, but I think she will change her tune once she sees what being 4 has in store for her.  She gets to start school in the fall and that is her dream!  Along with peeing on a tree but we took care of that at the park the other day :)

Miss Bree has attitude for days, but her obedience is improving.  She rarely tests us anymore with a "NO!" and she pitches in when we need her too.  She is an avid drawer and her artwork is quite impressive for her age.  She is interested in the alphabet and putting letters together, though they never spell anything.  She is able to have real conversations and some of the things she comes up with crack me up.  She is my sweet Breezy and such a blessing to our family.

For her birthday Bree wanted a Rapunzel cake with a tower so I did my best.  I originally tried to make the tower out of rice crispy treats but the top was too heavy and the base kept falling apart.  So I frosted a toilet paper roll as the base and used the rice crispy top.  She loved it which is all that mattered.  She got a pink Rapunzel comforter for her bed, Rapunzel wall stickers for her room, a box of pink legos, and Frozen pj's.  She was a happy girl!  I get a bit stressed about her birthdays because she gets so excited and hyped up for them the day after Christmas so I don't want to let all that excitement down a month later.  I think we did well this year though.  I am excited to watch Bree grow and learn and experience all the new things in store for her now that she is 4.

Frozen pj's!  She wears these 24/7.

Me and my "baby!"

Darcy's Turn

Darcy received her Certificate of Recognition from her teacher for having a great attitude and being a hard worker.  We are so proud of Darcy and how hard she is working both at school and on herself.  She is reading like a pro and is into learning about anything and everything.  She LOVES school and wishes she could go all day like Drew and Mason.  Me too :)  Kindergarten is not my favorite year, time-wise.  Picking a kid up from school everyday at 10:30 doesn't leave much time before or after for grocery shopping or running errands out of town, but this is the last year we'll deal with that.  When Bree goes to kindergarten it will be all day.  I'm sad about that now but ask me again in two years and I will probably love it.  Darcy is working hard on self improvements too.  I love her self-awareness.  She came to me the other day to let me know she was working on not saying bad words (a habit I didn't even know she had), not sucking her thumb anymore (she leaves her ducky blankie in her bed now so she won't be tempted to snuggle with it and suck her thumb during the day), and she is working hard on staying dry at night too, though that isn't working as well as the others, unfortunately.  She is one strong little person and I have a ton of admiration for my sweet Darcy.  I can't wait to see what she accomplishes as an adult.